Couples talk about getting better at conflict resolution but often discover it is difficult because everything they believe about conflict resolution is grounded in fear. Fear is spending years in a relationship learning things a proactive person could have learned in weeks. Fear is taking a wait-and-see attitude about problems you’ve seen in your past relationships, hoping things will turn out differently this time. Fear is doing things you know will make you resentful because that is your definition of compromise, fairness, or flexibility. Fear is guilt-tripping your mate into doing something instead of asking them to do it directly.